Sunday, April 1, 2012

My Mind and How It Doesn't Work

I love how my mind can lead down so many wandering paths. But so often never in the direction I had set out to go. I have to laugh at this because what else can I do.
Recently I was watching a show in my office only about half listening to be honest called The Revolution.

It has several hosts and they tackle just about any topic know to man. Ty Pennington is one of the hosts from Extreme Makeover. In this particular episode he was revealing his struggles with A.D.H.D. That suddenly got my attention! So I called my daughter in law and said please turn on The Revolution ( a link to see this episode and understand). Luckily my 9 yr old grandson was home,so we watched this and stayed on the phone.

Ty set up a ping pong table with two of the hosts. While they played he began to throw extra balls at them and had the audience cheering and clapping loudly. He started to throw lots of other things across the table and tossed them yummy snacks that they couldn't avoid. Then the best part he started to ask them simple questions that they were to answer while they played ping pong and dodge all of these items. I was laughing so hard by this point......I knew where he was going!

When they stopped because they were so confused and it was a messy crazy riot by then, he asked them if they could concentrate. They of course said, absolutely not. He said" Welcome to my world"
I felt like for the very FIRST time I was completely understood! WOW! Yes that is my brain and that is my daily world.
They went on to discuss how these people who deal with either ADHD or ADD are usually always creative and intelligent. Well I'm not sure about the second one but I do know that creative juices flow through my worn out brain CONSTANTLY! If I am unable to act on these ideas my day can become completely out of order. That's why I now always carry a notebook and a bag of my soothes this savage beast hahaha!
Gosh it brought back flashes from when I was a kid and could not sit and concentrate. It's a wonder that I made it to my mid 50's and was then diagnosed.
Dr. Ned Hallowell explaining the symptoms on The Revolution

The specialist on the show explained that 85% of adults are walking around un-diagnosed and usually have not succeeded in life due to this condition! Something like 8 million people have this. The doctor explained that left undiagnosed this condition can lead to under achievement,depression,addition and worse. He said that our prisons are loaded with people who are undiagnosed and have taken their lives down many a wrong road.How sad is that? What great minds in past centuries were thought of as crazy or were punished or hurt due to this condition?

Or did we do this to ourselves with all of our modern technology.This I wonder about this, and well a gazillion other things.
There are days I dream of life in Mayberry where people neighbored and simply sat on the porch fanning themselves and visiting each other. No purpose,no work, and no not a waste of time either. But I can't do that! I simply CAN NOT do that. I crave it, I dream about it, but I can not do it.

I must create, and must make something or I will go cRaZy......crazy I tell you!
I do take medication.............Oops.......gulp....I nearly forgot to take it again today. That's my problem I forget to take it. The very minute my eyes open and my feet hit the floor I am doing something. My mind begins to toss ideas and it's a blur after that. Sure,sure I'm not as fast as I use to be.I wonder if my bad knees are a subconscious way of making me sit and finish,oh who knows,wait a minute.....what was I talking about hahaha see!! But sitting and reading or writing a post on this blog becomes something I make myself do. I enjoy both very,very much,that isn't the point. But I must force myself to do it. Because the moment I sit down to begin, A MILLION other distractions flash before me and I am up and suddenly cleaning out a box in a back closet no one had seen in years.
So I never have ONE idea of something to create or do,oh no....hahaha....oh my I wish. No I always have dozens of them AT THE SAME TIME!

It's a wonder people like me ever get anything finished really, and see that's where it's sad because we don't not without help. But once you understand you sort of learn how to make yourself follow through to the end and stay focused........but one phone call, or a birds tiny chirp outside my window,or a leaf blowing by can change all of that, and suddenly your off in another direction or topic!!

If you only knew what I had originally sat down with my lap top to write certainly would laugh out loud..........oh look a chicken, hum gets me thinking!
I hope I didn't wear you all out with this post. But can you just imagine what it's like for us on the inside. Well it's exhausting to say the least.......Seeee Yaaaa got lots to do............=)
Oh look a chicken!


  1. Dear, sweet Rebecca - how interesting (and frustrating for you) this is...put in terms I can understand - wanted to read to the end - will go back now and watch the videos. Hope you have a WONDERFUL week...XOXO

  2. I am Bipolar (and I DO take my meds or I'd be a hot mess - LOL!) so I understand ADHD VERY well! Before I was diagnosed (at age 43) I would go into Manic mode & think I could do ANYTHING. I'd start a million different projects but before I could finish ANY of them, I'd crash. No, ADHD & Bipolar Disorder are not the same. But I GET you, Rebecca! And I happen to KNOW you are brilliantly creative! AND wonderful. And I just LOVE you. (Now. Go take your meds, Girly! LOL!)

  3. I don't believe I've ever seen ADD better explained! how does this work when you're raising children? the only time in my life I ever felt like this was years and years ago when I talked my Gynecologist into putting me on "diet pills"...he finally said he would for one mouth. what you've described sounds just like how I felt for that I was running on high octane mind never quit...never slowed down! a month was enough for me, I never asked for "diet pills" again! BTW have you taken your pill(s) today Becky ;-) hugs!